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Chance Encounter
BY AILISH M. NIC PHAIDIN, MPRII

What would you do if you met a client at a casual (very casual) social event and you had a wee nip too much alcohol onboard? Would you crawl out of the room? Would you ignore him/her? Would you throw out your chest, push your head too far backwards and endeavor to carry on a perfectly “normal” conversation? Would you reach for yet another drink to solidify your footing and bluff your way through the introductions, the conversation, the queries about business, the next big order (good grief, surely he’s not going to discuss figures now), the niceties of social comment? Would you pretend not to know the fellow and gaily distract him by plying him with a drink? Would you start a political debate on the nuances of the war in Chechnya versus the war in Iraq? Or, as it happened to someone I know, would you introduce your very attractive and sober (designated driver) wife and then excuse yourself – permanently? What would you do?

I recently witnessed a classic case of a chance encounter which led to the almost-destruction of a perfectly wonderful party, a matrimonial row of gargantuan proportions, a case of shattered glass, a newsworthy and noteworthy distant cousin, and a hasty retreat.

This was a totally unexpected encounter, and the “someone I know” had never in- fact met his client face-to-face. When he was introduced he was sufficiently “not-out-of-it” to recognize the person was a substantial client of his company. I witnessed this chance encounter with something between huge amusement and huge sympathy. I also witnessed the scuttling through the kitchen to the back entrance, and the unfortunate and hapless very attractive and sober wife pulling a metaphorical knife out of his back. I thought that it is just as well that most skirmishes happen behind closed doors. The “someone I know” would definitely have preferred his cousin’s bar mitzvah was a less splendid, and damp, affair. Nor was it a pretty sight to see him batting himself vigorously on the back porch as the mosquitoes surrounded his now teetering half-hidden body.

The client happened to be the brother-in-law of the mother of the child whose bar mitzvah was in full swing. Grown men skulking in porches is not an endearing sight. However, very attractive and sober (designated driver) wives who are caught in the headlights of future profit or future loss are so incredibly alluring to predators that the entire situation is rendered hilarious beyond words.

This client saw through the little subterfuge with ease. He talked in charming and captivating tones – and mannerisms – to the hapless wife to the extent that she had to be rescued by yet another cousin who had been ferried from the den (where he was conducting his own business in total sobriety) to beget a thorough exercise in damage control. I was too far removed from his business conversation to make a judgment on the effects of this intrusion, except to say that he may have been a little too hasty in the rescue because the very attractive and sober (designated driver) wife lost her footing in her too-high stilettos and came a cropper with a resounding thud at the client’s feet. The broken Waterford crystal goblet didn’t help in the amends department. The hostess was rushed into the mêlée with an assault force of two fair maids who brushed aside the entire affair in a matter of seconds.

Then “yet another cousin” proceeded to engage the now shoeless attractive and sober (designated driver) wife who had a wee nip herself to steady her nerves. A glance at the back porch became a beguiling stare of the strangest kind I’ve ever witnessed. There was no escape so I entreated the attractive and sober (designated driver) wife to accompany me on a tour of the paintings hanging so still in the main hallway. I’ve never encountered such a grateful woman in my life. You don’t need to know what she uttered under her breath about what her by now mosquito riddled husband would or would not get for the rest of the month. Suffice it to say that justice would be hasty -- and done.

My suggestion if you are intent upon an evening of impulsive and legal imbibing is that you make an effort to get a copy of the full guest list before you arrive. Alternatively, become a designated driver and make sure that whoever accompanies you to the social event isn’t anywhere near you if and when you should encounter a chance client, boss, employee or school principal who may be rather disinclined to look favorably on the wee nip. Or, this person could be a thoroughly enthusiastic participant in a little social sport, as was the client in question.

There were no long-term ramifications from this chance encounter as far as I am aware. However, the short-term ramifications were probably of such a nature that they may bear some further discussion at some future time. That should give some of you a little food for thought and a little thought for food.

I fondly recall most details – as do most other people at the event. It is not the stuff of fantasy that is memorable, but the stuff of reality, and realities differ as often as people change clients.

Ailish M. Nic Phaidin, MPRII ©
President & CEO
Access Link International, Inc.
Public Relations & Marketing Counselors
Phone: + 321-952-2978; Email: Ailish@AccessLinkInternational.com